


By Hand or By Brain

by minimalistfurniture



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 03:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11774169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minimalistfurniture/pseuds/minimalistfurniture
Summary: British politics AU where Waverly is the Prime Minister and Nicole is a fellow MP.





	By Hand or By Brain

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from Clause IV of the Labour Party constitution. This is kind of a niche setting for a fic but I couldn't get it out of my head. I apologise to anyone not particularly familiar with British politics but hopefully you don’t need any background info to enjoy reading. Just in case, I’ve written up a couple of facts as a guide in the ending notes if anyone wants some understanding before starting. All mistakes are my own and I own none of the characters. Let me know what you think! If you want to see something else set around UK government you should check out the TV show ‘The Thick of It’ (It’s also where I got that ‘marzipan dildo’ joke from, had to include some Malcolm Tucker in there somewhere!). If anyone wants me to do one of these set in the US let me know, if you can’t tell I’m a bit of a politics geek!

            Waverly loved Parliament, the rich history of the building, the architecture and the energy in the Commons. She lived for the sheer age of it. This was the building the Magna Carta had been confirmed in, the Habeas Corpus act of 1679 had been passed in, the Voting Rights Act of 1918 had been passed in and the NHS had been created in. It was awe inspiring. Having said all of that, right now she wishes she could be anywhere else. Prime Ministers Questions, held every Wednesday, was one of her least favourite parts of the job. Having to take queries and often criticisms from the opposition and from her own party was draining. Sometimes she thrived on the banter of it, the back and forth. She basked in the ridiculous formality required and the boisterousness from both sides, today, however, it was just draining. As the youngest Prime Minister that Great Britain had ever seen and the only female Prime Minister to lead a Labour government, she faced an unprecedented level of scrutiny and pressure. She had built up a thick skin over her brief period in office, but listening to the Member of Parliament for Arundel and South Downs lay into her finance bill was really starting to grate on her last nerve. Standing up to the microphone she began a retort.

            ‘The Right Honourable gentleman seems to believe that I, personally, am out to sabotage the economic prospects of the country. Can I please remind him, and the Leader of the Opposition, that what we are striving to achieve is a balanced and fair economic system for all. A balanced society involves higher taxation of the wealthy and fairer distribution to the struggling and it involves greater spending on public systems. Need I remind the Member for Arundel of the failure that was the austerity policy pursued by the last government. Now, until the Opposition starts learning how to prioritise more than just their own pockets I suggest they actually read through the finance bill instead of just dismissing it out of hand.’ She finished forcefully, stepping away from the desk and sitting back down. ‘Here here!’ echoed from her party behind her as the Chancellor of the Exchequer clapped her on the back. Waverly glanced up at Nicole, sitting off to the side. The redhead winked at her and gave her a furtive thumbs-up. She blushed, Nicole could always manage to do that, make her feel like she was, in fact, doing a good job, something she asked herself every day.

            ‘Order, order!’ Commanded the Speaker of the house from his raised chair at the head of the room, settling the room, ‘Nicole Haught!' He announced and Nicole stood, briefly grinning at Waverly before starting on her question with a serious face. Waverly nervously swallowed in anticipation, Nicole's questions were some of the hardest she received. As the only Member of Parliament for the Green Party, she was able to criticize the government without siding with the opposition, it was tough. Nicole faced the commons with her typical easy-going confidence and charm.

            ‘Thank you, Mr Speaker. As the member of Parliament for Brighton Pavilion, I feel the need to remind the Prime Minister about the promise she made in her Manifesto. Thousands of residents of Brighton and surrounding areas rely on the trains every day to commute. As they stand at the moment, sometimes it seems as if it would be easier to bike all the way into London then rely on the service provided. Will the Prime Minister stand by her promise to finally renationalise the railway service, or was this merely a throw away pledge to attract more votes?’ Nicole sat down derisively once she had finished and looked questioningly at Waverly. The brunette could see the barest hint of a well-meaning smile playing around her lips. She mentally face-palmed. Why did it always come back to the trains? Waverly knew that Nicole knew this was something they couldn’t prioritise at the moment. She sighed and rose to respond to the redhead.

            ‘The Right Honourable lady is indeed correct, we did pledge to nationalise the train service. This is something we will not walk back on, especially with the way train fees have risen in the past year. Making the train services accessible to everyone again is of the utmost importance. However, I trust the honourable lady knows these things take time and when we set up a committee to deal with the implications of nationalisation she shall be contacted.’ Waverly sat back down, hoping the answer had been enough to appease her fellow MP. God, she couldn’t wait to get back to her office.

 

            Indeed, several hours later, that was where she found herself, picking around the raisins in her salad and staring morosely at the list of names in front of her. No salad ever needed to be ruined with raisins she huffed, pushing her lunch away from her and reaching over for the phone on her desk. After typing the familiar number, she sat back in her chair, knowing she was in for a somewhat tough conversation.

            ‘Hey Waves.’ Nicole chirped through the phone, clearly in the middle of chewing something. ‘What’s up buttercup?’

            ‘I need your vote on the finance bill.’ She retorted, smiling despite herself at the redhead.

            ‘Ah, Madam Prime Minister, I see this is a call about business and not about pleasure then.’ She heard the amusement through the taller woman’s voice, even if her tone had shifted to something more serious.

            ‘I’m afraid so. I’ve put in a three-line whip but it appears that there are some rumblings within the backbench Blairites about voting against. They are using the word rebellion but I refuse to give it that much clout. And you know I can’t ask the SNP. I have the Lib Dems on board, I just need you Nic.’ Nicole chuckled over the line.

            ‘This standoff with the SNP is your own bloody fault, Waverly. Just meet with Nicola Sturgeon, she's really quite an amazing woman.’

            ‘Don’t you think I know that! That’s why I get all nervous and stammer around her. God, the last time we spoke I made such a twat out of myself.’ Waverly cringed at the memory.

            ‘Yeah, you did come off sounding like a bit of a wanker. Look, you know I would vote with you if I could but are you still planning on allocating those funds to nuclear weaponry?’

            ‘Yes…’ Mumbled Waverly reluctantly.

            ‘And you know perfectly well that, as the leader of the Greens, I cannot support that in any way.’

            ‘Do you want to vote with the Conservatives, Nicole? Is that really what you want? Because that’s what you are saying right now.’ There was a pause on the other end of the line.

            ‘What did you have for lunch?’ Asked the taller woman over the phone. Waverly rolled her eyes at the obvious attempt to steer the conversation in another direction.

            ‘I had salad, not that it’s particularly relevant.’

            ‘The one with the raisins again?’

            ‘Yeah.’ Waverly but back curtly, trying not to laugh at Nicole’s antics.

            ‘Bummer. I had some salt and vinegar crisps and a falafel wrap. They really need to start making better vegan sandwich options, everything is covered in sweet chilli sauce. I mean who really likes that stuff anyway?-‘

            ‘Nicole! While I do love listening to you discuss food, I really need an answer on the finance bill so I can go back to attempting to run the country.’

            ‘Ok, I'll vote with you. But I want you to really consider the amount you are planning to spend on up keeping our Trident nuclear program. I know it's your cabinet telling you to do it, please push back a bit. And I want a seat on that goddamn train committee whenever your government pulls its head out of its arse and manages to find the time for it. A manifesto without action is as useless as a fucking marzipan dildo.’ Waverly fist pumped on her side of the phone, relief washing over her.

            ‘You are actually my favourite person on the planet Nicole.'

            ‘Yeah, but I knew that before I did you the biggest favour of my political career. If this comes back to bite me in the arse, I will be throwing you under the bus.’

            ‘I wouldn’t expect anything less.’

            ‘Ok, I’ll let you get back to work. Go make the country a better place you rock star.' Waverly blushed at that, suddenly wishing Nicole was there next to her.

            ‘You too. I’ll see you later gorgeous.’

 

            It was several hours later when she looked up from her papers, a knock on the door disturbing her reading. One thing no one ever tells you is how much work being Prime Minister is, mused Waverly, glancing up at the clock. Shit, five past ten at night, no wonder it was so dark outside. Nicole was probably wondering where she was. Speaking of the redhead, she popped her head through the door of Waverly’s office, brandishing a plastic carrier bag and grinning at the smaller woman.

            ‘I’m so sorry I missed our dinner Nicole, I just got caught up working and I didn’t see the time. I’ll make it up to you.’ Rushed out Waverly, capping her pen and putting her head in her hands. Nicole strode into the office, sat down on one of the chairs across from the Prime Minister and began to unpack tubs of take away from the bag.

            ‘It’s fine. Look, being the leader of the country gives you a totally legitimate out for these things. I don’t mind Waves, honestly watching how hard to work makes me so proud.’ Waverly blushed at this, reaching over to help the taller woman unpack their dinner. ‘I got us a chinese from around the corner and I also stopped at M&S and got you a gin and tonic in a can, the height of class.’

            ‘Oh my god, this is the best thing to happen to me all day.’

            ‘Better than finally being able to score the votes you need for the finance bill?' Asked Nicole teasingly as the smaller woman opened her drink and took a long sip.  ‘Now all you have to go is get it through Lords.’ Waverly shushed her in response.

            ‘I really don’t want to talk about work right now, Lords can wait until the morning. I want to hear about your day.’ Nicole propped her feet up on the desk and started to tuck into her container of food.

            ‘It was alright. Though thanks to a stupid twitter campaign by some teenager in my constituency I’m still receiving hundreds of emails petitioning me to raise the possibility of changing the national anthem to Tubthumping by Chumbawamba. It was funny the first couple times but I’m sick of it now.’ Waverly snorted at this, barely managing to keep the gin and tonic in her mouth.

            ‘At least then no one would have to pretend to remember the words to ‘God Save the Queen'. You should totally make that your political legacy Nic. Also, feet off the desk, please. Churchill sat here, let's not defile it.'  Nicole shot her a look and begrudgingly set her boots back on the ground, leaning across the desk so she was closer to Waverly.

            ‘Yeah, but do you think Churchill ever expected this desk to be used for the Prime Minister to peruse her Sapphic agenda with an innocent MP.’ Waverly stood up at this and walked around the desk to sit on Nicole's lap.

            ‘Is that what I’m doing now?’ She asked coyly, toying with the ends of her partners flaming red hair.

            ‘Yes.’ Gulped Nicole, noodles forgotten on the desk as her hands found purchase on Waverly’s waist. ‘Though perhaps I exaggerated saying I was innocent.’

            ‘I love you.’ The brunette sighed, resting her forehead on Nicole’s temple.

            ‘I should hope so, you're marrying me after all.' She quipped back, leaning into her fiancé. ‘And I love you too, of course. Now, if you had to change the national anthem, what would you make it?’

            ‘Spice Girls.’ Answered Waverly back without hesitation. Nicole burst out laughing.

            ‘Wannabe?’ Suggested Nicole, curious what Waverly would say.

            ‘No, obviously Spice Up Your Life. It’s a musical masterpiece.’

            ‘If you say so Waverly.’ Laughed Nicole, placing a kiss on the brunettes cheek. ‘Maybe run it by the Queen the next time you see her.’

            ‘Yeah, I’ll just drop her an email. Something along the lines of, Oi Liz, you know what I really think speaks volumes about the UK, the lyric ‘slam it to the left if you’re having a good time.’ Waverly giggled out, imagining one of her brief interactions with the Queen going like this. ‘What song do you think it should be?’ She asked her fiancé, still giggling.

            ‘Champagne Supernova by Oasis.’ Answers Nicole quickly ‘That’s the first song we ever danced to, you remember?’

            ‘I remember.’ Murmured Waverly, leaning in to kiss the taller woman. They were interrupted by the phone ringing. Waverly sighed, standing up from Nicole’s lap. ‘That’s the President of the United States, she’s just started watching Downton Abby and has been calling to talk to me about it. Why don’t you head back to Number Ten and I’ll be there in twenty minutes?’ Nicole stood up and collected the remnants of their dinner and reached over to quickly kiss her fiancé.

            ‘Of course baby, I’ll have a cup of tea and your fuzzy slippers waiting for you when you get in. Tell the President I say hi.' Sometimes being the Prime Minister had its perks, smirks Waverly, watching the redhead leave her office.

**Author's Note:**

> -So, the Uk is a bicameral system of government which means it has two chambers, The House of Commons and The House of Lords. Commons is made up of MPs who are elected on behalf of constituencies across the country, all of which contain a roughly even number of voters. In an election, you vote for your local MP and the party who gets a majority number of MPs in Parliament can form a government (though that’s not what happened in the last election, just to make things complicated). The Prime Minister is the head of the majority party and is voted in by the members of that party. The Opposition is the second largest party represented in Parliament. There are historically two main parties, the Conservatives and the Labour Party, although this is changing. Commons introduces laws and Lords scrutinizes them and can vote to send them back. Lords is made up of unelected peers so it functions differently.  
> -The SNP stands for the Scottish Nationalist Party. Nicola Sturgeon is the head of the SNP and the First Minister of Scotland. 
> 
> Hopefully that was helpful if anyone was curious!


End file.
